Every rape does not count

Dhiyanesh Ravichandran

A majority of sexual crimes in India are not reported owing to the discrepancies in the reporting mechanism and the profit-driven media bothers less.

She did her level best to get her LIFE back after a ruthless attack I wish no one should ever undergo and succumbed to injuries eleven days latter with a glut of pain and agony. It is quite easy for everyone like me to think about and express the horror that she faced that night in a moving bus, but it is very uncertain to say whether any of us can bear that sort of cruelty and lead a normal life as before from next day. The fact that most of our women lead that kind of life is quite discomforting. The way we as individuals and as a whole society treat those known victims of sexual violence makes me feel that she had no best option than departing her life. Nor we have any option for people like her. Getting her LIFE back is complicated with us. Let her soul rest in peace with dignity at least.

For sheer convenience in understanding some of the facets of reality, let us keep aside all those issues and debating matters surrounding that incident especially the argument for capital punishments to perpetrators. If it is just to hang every offender, then many of our own fathers, brothers, kins and neighbours would be sent to gallows and maybe at that time we may loosen our stand in this regard. And a major proportion of people will still be left unpunished, as either their crimes are not reported or not proven guilty. You would have wondered ever since that terrible gang rape incident at the national capital territory and the students protest that followed was focused in the national media for the past 15 days, many new cases of sexual assaults and gang rapes are reported everyday. This makes an impression that many such cases of sexual violence are not reported and there exist some discrepancies in the reporting mechanism. Reporting a case here refers both filing a complaint and an FIR with the police and media's coverage on such incidents.

The incidence of rapes, sexual assaults and other sex related crimes are very high and ever present in India. They happen at almost all places - homes, schools, colleges, workplaces, public spaces, buses, trains, etc. There can be no causation nor any correlation to the Delhi gang rape incident and the rape and assault cases that were reported by media in the following days. One can expect that the mass protests for justice triggered by that incident would have created a caution among susceptible wrong doers at least to a minimum extent, which could have brought down the crime rate. There is no scope for a sudden rise in such crimes when such protests and police actions against them are narrated in news media. This brings us to an idea that only now some of those ever happening crimes are publicly reported and they pop up at the news streams aftermath the horrific incident that shook the whole nation.

There are several factors that often leads to unreporting. Firstly, a majority of victims themselves do not reveal such traumas to their own family members, friends, teachers, or guardian. In many cases, when those people remain to be perpetrators, we can hardly expect them to open up. Fear of ostracism and retaliation is innate to victims. Secondly, even if they dare to make a notice to their family members, in most cases they neither acknowledge nor make any first-effort. Let us always remember such crimes are inflicted not by aliens, they are known to victims in most of the cases and belong to the same or near-by locality. Family ties with the offender, or his social and political status, caste of both victim and the offender, all determine the family's reaction to the issue. In most of the cases, the social stigma relating to a police complaint identifying their women as victims is a distressing experience to the families. The fear of  disgracing reactions from their kins, friends, colleagues, neighbours, etc haunts them. They fear of possible disruptions in marital future of the victim and her societal recognition. This is much more relevant in our society, and not confined only to rural societies. So, families either kill the issue or rob the victim's or their own life in the name of dignity.

Thirdly, the law enforcement mechanisms to record a complaint and investigating it is in many instances messy. Sometimes the police are lethargic in filing an FIR or to initiate appropriate actions and investigations. Corrupted police officials manipulate the process which prolongs the judicial process for justice. There is excessive red tapism in such legal battles against the offences and are often a horrific experience to the victims. Life is very harsh is the victim is a dalit and the perpetrators are from so-called upper caste. A recent news of a minor dalit gang-rape victim's suicide note naming police officials for evading justice in Punjab is an example. It took 14 days for the local police to register a FIR and the officials haunted her often by asking to narrate what happened during that rape episode. In almost all the cases, the victims and their family face threats from the offenders and people in power. Yet another important factor in this regard is the medical examination of the victim. Shame and disgrace to victim and her family is inherent to it.

Sexual harassment in educational campuses often go unreported since they do not have proper systems in place to monitor students behaviour, counsel students, record complaints and initiate proceedings. The university system in India does not provide any explicit understanding of what constitutes sexual harassment. In some of the enlightened western universities, victims are specifically encouraged to file complaints even if they had themselves consumed alcohol or drugs at the time. Given the tendency here in our country to blame the victim for making herself vulnerable, this is of much scope. 

Fourthly, as renowned rural expert P. Sainath puts, our Indian media is politically free but is driven for and by profits. Media's role in catalysing the police action and speeding up judicial action by reporting sexual crimes is very significant. Specifically, visual media reaches people to kindle their sentiments and raises awareness in a short span of time. The nations fury on the Delhi gang rape case is an example. But our media is highly biased and there is a clear class differentiation in terms of the content they choose to report. Visual media is the worst hit. Commercialization has crept in and there is an apparent neglect of rural problems and happenings. News stories on entertainments such as cinema and political coverage is what earns them the aspired TRB rating for to grab advertisers. They choose up contents primarily based on their viewers ratings and likings. It is uncertain that our visual media will take up this rape issue more often after investigations are over, the matter has already faded away since the victim is no more. As a result, the news channels will find no interest in digging up the rape of a tribal woman of a remote village in Odisha, while Kingfisher's calender girl drive featuring the our country women in bikinis would be the priority.

Fifthly, there is less awareness among many of our women especially in rural areas to assert their rights and fight for justice. It is worth to analyse why the crime rates are higher in the state of Kerala with hundred percent literary comparing to other backward states. It may appear that the educational levels have nothing to do with the occurrence of crimes. But it is said that the due to their educational awareness and empowerment, people in Kerala report every crimes to the law enforcement agencies unlike other states. As a result, most of the cases of petty thefts to heinous crimes reach police stations and are documented.

The Union and state governments are in the process of drafting new policies and bills to enhance women safety and security. Several existing laws are to be amended too. It is high time for them to act on the law enforcement mechanisms that are in place. Effective systems for hassle-free reporting and complaints of sexual crimes are the need of the hour, which would require a total overhaul of the present reporting system.

The Delhi gang rape case has created mass effects which offers endless opportunities for policy makers and officials to rethink what's gone wrong. It is important to view security not solely as the prevention of high-profile attacks, but as a continuum that protects against various forms of sexual harassment and exploitation. She has given our women the courage to speak out such issues that each and everyone of them endure. Let us not lose this momentum, this commitment, this chance to retrospect what's the reality. Silence is no more a bliss.

Should there be a diktat on dressing??

 Dhiyanesh Ravichandran.

A mob of over 20 men dragged a 16-year old girl by her hair into one of the busy city roads of Guwahati, tried to rip off her clothes, yanked up her vests and tugged at her bra, groped her breasts as she begged for help from passing cars. They who sexually abused and mugged her publicly, smiled at the cameras which filmed the whole episode and the cameras panned up and down her body focusing on her breasts and thighs as if they were intentional (maybe!!) and hit the TV sets after few hours with no qualms of media ethics.  And the CM's office and the National Commission for Women (NCW) panel went further in abusing by revealing the victim's identity and then apologising for their mistakes latter. The NCW chairperson latter commented in a statement that women should be “careful about the way they dress because such incidents are a result of blindly imitating the West” and the Chief Minister of Madhya Pradesh saying that the women should follow Indian culture in their dressing and behaviour, all humiliating and degrading our womenfolks. The distressing incident and the controversies that followed up, all hint one thing in common. It's nothing but the insensitivity that we, the people and our system shows on the status of our women and while dealing with the crime against them. India is one of the worst places in the world for the women to live I presume regretfully.

The Guwahati girl molestation case is quite shocking, but it happens everywhere all over the country and  there is nothing novel about it. Infact, this case has proved that the north-eastern states are no exception to such crimes against women. But cunningly, people in power, fundamentalists, and others who couldn't assimilate the sorry state of affairs blame the victims themselves, by pointing out women's dressing which provocates men to commit such crimes. By 'provocative dressing' they grossly mean all the dresses which are not in consonance with our traditions and culture, or to be much more exact, all the dresses from the western world. First of all, it is highly subjective to define socially acceptable dressing, since India is a dynamic multi-cultural or heterogenous society. We have nothing like a 'static' culture or tradition - cultures differ from place to place, traditions of Tamil nadu greatly vary from that of Assamese. A typical Tamil woman's attire may not get the consent of a marathi tribe, and we all know that the dressing of North-east people especially women are totally different to the rest, which would be unacceptable in the so called Indian 'mainland'. Social Anthropologists can say that the present-day saree and a salwar kameez is a derivative of several cultures and practices through ages, as a result of cultural interactions. And also, there is nothing concrete called a 'Western culture' and the influence of other cultures on our behaviour is not new to the present world and is a universal phenomenon.

There is nothing called a 'static culture'.

Does a girl's dressing really provocates or sexually allures men? Maybe. But is it a valid cause to such extent that men couldn't control lust and commits heinous crimes like what our country has reported all these days?  I certainly have reservations to that. Such people say that a 'provocative dresss' is anything which shows a great deal of a women's body and structure. The degree of the so-called 'provocativeness' is also contexual to one's own culture. A jeans with a full-hand kurti covers almost all the parts of a girl's body from wrist to ankles, but may not get a cultural sanction like a traditional saree, which is more liberal comparingly. A women in bikini in the beaches of Goa may not be sexually stimulative for the beach hawkers, but a women in burqa, face veiled and hands gloved with only visible eyes, can be seductive and become prey to men. There have be instances where a 70 or 80 year-old women in burqa were raped and molested in India, it would be ridiculous to say that one's attire is the major or only reason for all such crimes. Even the NCW's statistics disprove the myth. Can anyone claim that all the women who are 'careful' about the way they dress are safe at our streets?

SAREE: Really a modest way of dressing?

Let us consider that a woman's attire is extremely provocative, culturally unacceptable and creates a 'cultural shock'. But do men have the right to touch that woman, pointing out her dressing? What empowers them to rape, molest and harass a women on the name of her dressing? Is it morally, ethically and culturally justifiable? Does such acts have any social or cultural sanctions or an element of our traditional practices? Can women rape or mug a rural man who is usually half-naked? People who point out women's dressing for all the crimes against women are directly or indirectly justifying those wicked conduct. Why no one is ready to question men's attitude towards women, who is always considered as a source of sexual pleasure? The ugly answer is more social, such a mentality is a direct mark of patriarchy and violence against women is an absolute feature of the patriarchal society. 

Every human beings have their own liberty to dress the way they wish and no one can take away their wishful right. No one has the right to strip a woman, rape her, molest her and do anything that ravage her dignity pointing out her attire. That is no way justifiable from any perspective. Even if she's naked or a sex worker. Not even her husband can do that. And justifying such crimes is even more sinful than the very act itself. But society always has some diktats or the other on all our dressings, which is inevitable and has certain latent functions too. But one need to understand the social injustice behind those norms and sanctions, and pathos tagged to it. Such wide prevalence of atrocities against women proves that our society is just camouflaged with the modern ideals and has not progressed in true sense. 

I do not completely rule out the fact that a woman's dressing provocates men. Nor I'll advise my sister to be more liberal to an extent in her dressing. Women's attire is not that valid and the only cause for all the crimes against them by men. By acknowledging such blames by few people who may have some hidden agendas, say for political mileage or self-defense, we miss out the real causes and factors underlying to it. Every social problems will have multiple root-causes and contributing factors, which needs to be addressed so as to improve the condition. Corporates do have a hand in setting trends on modern-day dressing, which is purely commercial and is a technique to increase their profits. Most of our women fall prey to that in the name of empowerment and excercising their liberty, which must be debunked. Unwanted cultural shocks can be avoided. It is nonsensical to say that women's safety lies in their own hands. As a community, we have to evaluate ourself on these issues and address the real concerns. Let us not forget that our patriarchal mindset towards our women and commodification of women as a source of sexual pleasure and insensitivity towards the unjust against them could say lot more about such issues. Gandhiji once said, 

"Of all the evils for which man has made himself responsible, none is so degrading, so shocking or so brutal as his abuse of the better half of humanity; the female sex (not the weaker sex)." 

Let our women live with dignity. 

 

NOT FOR SALE

Dhiyanesh Ravichandran.

     Pranita was four years old when she was sold to a broker forcibly by her mother, as she was unable to prostitute in her last days due to her infection with HIV. By the time when Prajwala, an institution that assists trafficked women and girls, rushed to the spot, she was already raped by three men. Anjali's father, a drunkard, sold his child for pornography. In yet another dreadful story, Shaheen, a 3-year old girl, was found on a railway track and her background was not clearly known. She was brutally raped by hundreds of men and the indication of that on her body was so cruel to an extent that her intestine was out of her body and was in need of 32 stitches to put her intestine back. 

     This is the third largest organised crime in our society, a 10-billion dollar industry, the worst form of human rights violation and a modern-day slavery. This is nothing but the human trafficking and the commercial sexual exploitation and slavery in India.  In this country and across the globe, hundreds and thousands of women and children ( as young as 3 or 4 years) are sold for commercial sexual exploitation to work as forced prostitutes or virtual slaves.  

     Where do these people come from? Most of the victims are from the poor and optionless families and some are from middle class and well to do families as well. There was even a case few years back, in which a 14 year old daughter of an IAS officer, who was studying 9th standard and web-chatting with a person with whom she ran away from home, was trafficked. There are hundreds and thousands of stories like this in which women and children are deceived and forced into flesh trade. Almost everyone of them resist being inducted into prostitution and some pay price for it. They are either killed or subjected to extreme tortures. They are voiceless and their resistance go vain. And the rest who succumb into it go through everyday torture - because men who seek them are not the one who are trying to make girl friends and to have a family with them; they buy them for an hour or a day, use them for sexual pleasure and throw them like an empty cigar. Each of the rescued victims say at least one story in common - about one man putting chilli powder in her vagina; about one man taking a cigarette and burning her genitals, or about one man whipping her. We live among those men only - they are our fathers, brothers, uncles, etc. and we are silent with them.

     Sunita Krishnan, co-founder of Prajwala, says that it is not the traffickers who pose a major challange in rescuing and rehabilitating those victims, but it is the civil society (which includes all of us) poses a major hindrance. The victims are ostarcised, stigmatised and isolated from the normal life by the society only because of the fact that they are victims. We all have PhDs in victimising the victims. We don't allow them to lead a normal life like us. We have blocks to accept them as our own. We neither bring them to our homes nor give them any employment. We don't encourage them or their children to study with our children and come up in life. We think that it is their fate and can't do anything otherthan showing our sympathy on them. We also heartlessly think that they like to do what they are doing and earn good remuneration. Have we ever thought of the extra bonuses that they get  - various infections and sexually transmitted diseases such as HIV AIDS, syphilis, etc.? And one fine day they give upon us - you and me - because we have no option for them. They start normalising these exploitations believing that that is their destiny and think that it is so normal to get raped by hundreds of men every day. And what is abnormal and impractical is that to live in a shelter and to get rehabilitated.

     "We have trained such girls as carpenters, masons, metal welders, cab drivers, etc. and they are excelling. They work for big corporates like Ramkee constructions and when they can do such physical jobs, why not computers?" asks Sunita. They have immense amount of courage and have no purdahs inside their body and mind and have crossed such barriers. Therefore they can fight a male-dominated society like this with ease and never feel shy about it, she adds.

     It is very easy to discuss about this in a classroom or an air-conditioned hall, but that can help nothing. Are we ready to give them an opportunity? An opportunity to gain confidence, restore their dignity and to build hopes in their own lives? They need our compassion, empathy and more than anything, our acceptance. Let us break our culture of silence and our nature of being insensitive to others woes. Let us accept them as our own mothers and sisters and not as philanthropy and charity, but as human beings who deserves all our support. They seek and demand our support because no children or women or no human being in this world deserve what they gone through.

காதல் வாழ்க!!

தியாநேசு ரவிச்சந்திரன்

(இக்கட்டுரையால் நான் எனது பெற்றோர்கள் மற்றும் முந்தய தலைமுறையினரிடம் வம்பு வளர்த்துக்கொள்கிறேன் என்பதுமட்டும் நிச்சியம்!)

     'காதல்' பற்றிய  நம் நாட்டு மக்களின் பார்வைக்கும் மேலைநாட்டு மக்களின் பார்வைக்கும் நிறைய வேறுபாடுகள் உள்ளன. இங்கு இருக்கும் தடைகளில் ஆயிரத்தில் ஒன்றுகூட அங்கு இல்லை என்றும், அல்லது காதலுக்கு அங்கு தடையே இல்லை என்றும்  கூட துணிந்துசொல்லலாம். காதல் எதனால் இங்கு எதிர்க்கப்படுகிறது? ஏன் மேலைநாடுகளில் இல்லாத ஒரு தடை இந்தியாவிலே இருக்கிறது என்றால் அடிப்படையாக நாம் என்ன கருதிக்கொள்கிறோம் என்றால், பிள்ளைகள் தங்களுக்கான துணைவர்களை தேர்ந்தெடுக்கும் அறிவு பெற்றவர்களாக இருக்கமாட்டார்கள் எனவே பெற்றோர்கள் தான் அதைச் செய்யவேண்டும் என்றும், காதல் என்பது இயல்பாக அனுமதிக்கப்படுமானால் சமூகத்தில் ஒழுக்கம் தவறிப்போகும் என்பதுமான சான்றுகள் சமாதானங்கள் சொல்லப்படுகின்றன. எல்லாவற்றையும் செய்து கொடுக்கிற பெற்றோர்கள் அவர்களுக்கான துணையைமட்டும் தேடிக்கொடுக்க மாட்டார்களா, அதைமட்டும் ஏன் இவர்களாகவே தேடிக்கொள்ள வேண்டும் என்றும் ஒரு கேள்வி எழுகிறது. ஆனால், இதற்கான அடிப்படைக் காரணம் 'சாதி' என்பதுதான். காதல் அனுமதிக்கப்படுகிறபோது அவரவர் தங்கள் துணையை தங்கள் சாதியில் இருந்துதான் தேடிக்கொள்வார்கள் என்று எந்த உத்தரவாதமும் இல்லை. எனவே சாதி என்பது உடைபட்டுப்போகுமோ என்கிற அச்சத்தினால் சாதியைக் காப்பாற்றவேண்டும் என்ற நோக்கில் காதலுக்கு எதிர்ப்பு எழுகிறது. எனவேதான், காதலர் தினம் கூட பண்பாட்டின் பெயரால் இங்கு மறுக்கப்படுகிறது. 

     நாம் பார்க்கலாம்,

"அண்ணலும் நோக்கினான் அவளும் நோக்கினாள், 

இருவரும் மாறிப்பொக்கு இதயம் எய்தினர்" 

என்றுதானே கம்பராமாயணம் சொல்கிறது? இருவரும் காதல் வயப்பட்டார்கள் என்பதுதானே அதன் பொருள்? உண்மைதான்... அதற்கு அதுதான் பொருள். ஆனால், அது கம்பனின் கைவண்ணம். வால்மீகியின் கூற்றுப்படி ராமர் சீதை திருமணம் நடக்கிறபொழுது ராமருக்கு வயது பன்னிரண்டு, சீதைக்கு வயது ஆறு. அவர்கள் அவ்வயதில் அப்படியெல்லாம் காதலித்திருக்க வாய்ப்பே இல்லை; அப்படி எல்லாம் நடந்ததாக எங்கும் வால்மீகி கூறவுமில்லை. அவர்களின் திருமணம் ஒரு குழந்தைத்திருமணமாகவே நடந்துள்ளது. இந்தக் குழந்தைத்திருமணத்திற்குக்கூட என்ன அடிப்படை என்றால் சாதியை மீறிவிடக்கூடாது என்பதுதான். திருமணம் என்றால் என்ன என்றே தெரியாத வயதில் அதைச் செய்துவிட்டால், வேறு சாதியில் துணைதேட முனைய மாட்டார்கள் என்ற எண்ணம்தான். எல்லா அடிப்படையிலும் பெண்ணை மெல்ல மெல்ல கீழே அழுத்திவைத்து, எப்படி சாதி ஆதிக்கம் இருக்கிறதோ அப்படி ஆணாதிக்கத்தையும் இந்தச் சமூகம் தொடர்ந்து நிலைநிறுத்திவந்திருக்கிறது. 

     நாம் சற்று வெளிப்படையாகப்  பார்க்கலாம். பிராமண சமூகத்திலே உபநயனம் என்று ஒரு சடங்கு உண்டு. உபநயனம் என்றால் ஒரு பிராமண வீட்டில் பிறந்த ஒரு பையனை படிக்க அனுப்புவதாகும். அன்றைக்கெல்லாம் கல்வி என்றால் குருகுலவாசம்தான். வேதங்களைப் படிக்கச்செல்லும் போது அவன் இரண்டாவது முறையாகப்பிறக்கிறான் என்கிறது மனு. அச்சடங்கானது ஆண்பிள்ளைகளுக்கு மட்டும் தான் நடத்தப்படும். ஏன் பெண்பிள்ளைகளுக்கு இல்லையென்றால் பெண்களுக்குக் கல்வியே மறுக்கப்பட்ட சமூகத்தில் உபநயனம் எப்படி இருக்கமுடியும்? இந்தப் பெண்களிலே மட்டும் வேறுபாடே கிடையாது. எல்லாச் சாதியிலும் எல்லாச் சமூகத்திலும் பெண் என்பவள் அடிமைப்பட்டவள் தான். மனு மிகத்தெளிவாகச் சொல்கிறது "ஸ்ரீராந்த சூத்திர ஷாதினாம்" என்று. அதாவது, பிராமண வீட்டில் பிறந்தாலும் பெண் சூத்திரப்பெண் தானாம். நம் மண்ணில்தான் எந்த மரியாதைக்குரிய ஒன்றையும் - மொழி, நாடு, ஆறு, மலை - பெண்ணாக பாவித்து வணக்குவதுண்டு. அனால் வேதனையாக இருக்கிறது, பெண்ணுக்கு உண்மையில் இங்கு மரியாதையே இல்லை. 

     இந்தக்காதலில் கூட நிறைய மூடநம்பிக்கைகள் உள்ளன. நாம் காதல் தோல்வி என்பதை ஆணுக்கு ஒரு மாதிரியாகவும் பெண்ணுக்கு ஒரு மாதிரியாகவும் பார்க்கிறோம். இந்தக்காதல் வெற்றி தோல்வி என்பதுகூட வழக்கிலே பயன்படுத்தும் சொல்தான். காதலுக்கு வெற்றியும் கிடையாது தோல்வியும் கிடையாது. காதல் என்றால் அன்பு; ஒருவர் மீது நாம் வைத்திருக்கும் நேசம். நாம் மற்றவர் மீது வைத்திருக்கும் அன்பும் நேசமும் ஒருநாளும் தோற்றுப்போவதில்லை. ஆனால் வழக்கிலே ஒரு காதல் திருமணத்தில் முடிந்தால் மட்டுமே அக்காதல் வெற்றி பெற்றதாக நாம் கருதிக்கொள்கிறோம். அது தவறு. ஒரு ஆண் தான் காதலித்த பெண்ணை மணம்முடிக்க இயலவில்லை என்றால், மனம்வருந்தி, தாடி வைத்து, சில நாட்கள் கழித்து வேறு ஒரு பெண்ணை காதலித்தோ அல்லது திருமணம் செய்துகொண்டோ தன் வாழ்க்கையை சகஜமாக்கிக்கொள்வான். அதைத்தான்  சமூகம் விரும்பும். அனால், ஒரு பெண்ணுக்கு அவ்வாறு நேர்ந்தால், அவள் கற்ப்பிழந்தவள் அல்லது ஏமாற்றப்பட்டவள் என்றுதானே நாம் சொல்லுவோம்?

   பாகவதர் காலத்திலிருந்து பவர்ஸ்டார் காலம்வரை காதலில்லாத்  திரைப்படங்கள் ஏதேனுமுண்டோ? அத்திரைப்படக் காதலை தலைமுறை தலைமுறையாக ரசித்துக்கொண்டுதானே இருக்கிறோம்? ஆனாலும் நிஜவாழ்கையில் நாம் காதலை மறுப்பதென்பது திரைப்படங்களில் காதல் முறையாக காட்டப்படவில்லை என்பதையே சுட்டுகின்றது. திரையில் காதலர்கள் ஒன்றுசேர விரும்பும் நாம், நம் குடும்பத்தில் அதற்கு பச்சைக்கொடி காட்டாமல் எதிர்ப்பதற்கான காரணம் ஒன்றுதான். நம்மிடம் சமுதாய அநியாயங்களை எதிர்த்துப்போராடவும் பகுத்தறிவுச்சிந்தனைகளை ஏற்றுக்கொள்வதற்க்கும் தெளிவும் தைரியமும் இல்லை என்பதுதான். நம் கல்வி என்னதான் செய்கிறதோ.....

     இன்றைய தலைமுறையினர் சாதி ஆதிக்கத்தால் சற்று முன்னோக்கியே  சென்றுவிட்டனர்! நான் ஒரு முறை என் நண்பரிடம் காதல் திருமணம் செய்துகொள்வீரா என்றமைக்கு அவர் கூறிய பதில் மனவருத்தத்தைத் தந்தது. "நான் என் சாதியில் பிறந்த ஒரு பெண்ணை மட்டும்  தான் காதலிப்பேன்" என்றார். ஒற்றுமை வேற்றுமை பார்த்து வருவது காதல்அல்ல. எதிர்பார்ப்புகளை எண்ணி வருவதும் காதல் அல்ல. தேடிப்போவதும் காதல் அன்று. நான் வக்காலத்து வாங்கும் காதல் அதுவல்ல. ஆனால், நான் இவ்விடத்தில் ஒன்றை ஒத்துக்கொள்ள வேண்டும், காதல் என்ற பெயரில் காதலர் தினம் என்று சொல்லி நம் ஊரில் ஒருசில  சீர்கேடுகள் நிகழ்கின்றன. அவையெல்லாம் திரைப்படங்களில் காதல் தவறாகக்காட்டப்படுவதினாலும் வணிகமயமாக்குதலாளும்  விளைபவை. அது சில வணிகநிறுவனங்கள் தங்கள் சுய லாபத்திற்காக செய்கிறார்கள். அதை நம் இளைய தலைமுறையினர் முதலில் உணரவேண்டும். காதலர் தினத்தில்தான் தங்கள் காதலை வெளிப்படுத்த வேண்டும் என்பதில்லை.

     எனவே, இதுபோன்ற விவாதங்களையெல்லாம் கிளப்புகிறபோது நம் சமூகம் முன்வைக்கும் காரணங்களைச் சற்று கூர்ந்து கவனித்தால் நமக்கு உண்மை புரியும். எல்லாம் எது சார்ந்ததாக இருக்கிறது என்றால் சாதியைக் காப்பாற்றுவதாகவும் பெண்ணை அடிமைப்படுத்துவதாகவும் உள்ளது. மதம் என்பது இந்த இரண்டோடும் நேரிடைத்தொடர்புடையதாக இருக்கிறது. எனவே காதல் என்பதெல்லாம் மேலைநாடுகளிலிருந்து வந்தது என்று நினைத்து யாராவது தடுக்க நினைத்தால், அவர்கள் பழந்தமிழ் பண்பு அறியாதவர்கள் என்றுதான் பொருள். பழந்தமிழ் நாட்டில், பழந்தமிழ் இலக்கியங்களில் சாதி வேற்றுமைகளை எல்லாம் கடந்து காதல் நிலைநிறுத்தப்பட்டிருக்கிறது. எனவே காதல்தான் இரண்டிற்கும் ஒரு பெரிய மாற்று - சாதிஆதிக்கத்திற்கும் சரி பெண்ணடிமைத்தனத்திற்கும் சரி. ஒரு பெண்ணை தனக்கான துணையைத் தேர்ந்தெடுத்துக்கொள்ள அனுமதிப்பதுதான் பெண்விடுதலைக்கான தொடக்கம். திருமண உறவுகளால் மட்டுமே நம்மிடையே நிலவும் வேற்றுமைகளைக் களைய முடியும். எனவே, "காதல் வாழ்க! சாதி ஆதிக்கமும் பெண்ணடிமைத்தனமும் வீழ்க!" என்கிற முழக்கமே காதலர்தினத்தின் உட்பொருள். ஆதலால் நண்பர்களே, காதல் செய்வீர்! காதல் செய்வீர்!! 

Travesty of Women Empowerment

     When I asked a good friend of mine about her insight on women empowerment, I simply loved her stance. It wasn't a well-theorized one like an experts view, which makes us complex to comprehend the idea! But, it was humble and straightforward instead, which bombarded me with different thoughts.

     "Getting a woman empowered lies in her own hands and in the hands of her society" she said. "A girl's life is invariably influenced by others at all times and remains inert by the clutches of her surroundings.. When we do not have command over our own being, there is no chance of progress" she added. "The will to take up challenges on her way towards development, must comes from her own self at all degrees and her society must encourage her ventures to get empowered". But I'm perplexed because something converse is happening nowadays....   

RIGHT TO CHOICE: Not necessarily!

     In the present modern-'enlightened' era, it is undeniable that our women themselves are ignorant of what empowerment is all about. The will to empower them is not genuine and are misguided by the so called 'feminist approaches'. They tend to adopt several things, almost everythings, that are male-stereotyped and believe that that is the only mean to get empowered in a society which is male chauvinistic. How dressing like a male, especially Jeans and T-shirts, or riding a manual-gear bike make them equivalent to men and endow them their rights? Or do women think that those are their real rights they are deprived of for centuries?? In a classroom discussion on 'Gender sensitivity', a girl came up with an odd question which made me to ponder. "Why women in India who consumes alcoholic drinks are seen with suspicion and hatred and the act of approaching a liquor store to buy alcoholic beverages remains a socially, culturally prohibited and unaccepted, while the very same acts by men are considered functional?" Though she acceded that alcoholism is harmful to both men and women and drinking is itself a social evil, she ascertains that her right to choice is defied. "This is a sort of gender discrimination", she argued. Of course her argument is valid and genuine but I would rather take a different turn.

     Scientific researches say that women develop long-term complications of alcohol dependence more rapidly than men do. The mortality rate from alcoholism is also high in women comparingly. Such complications include brain, heart, and liver damage, increased risk of breast cancer and reproductive dysfunction such as anovulation, decreased ovarian mass, problems or irregularity of the menstrual cycle, early menopause, etc. When the 'mother nature' herself has discriminated women in this regard, why not give-up their 'Right to choice' when the basic rights of several women in the very same society are denied in several fronts?? But it is really disheartening to hear that there is rapidity in increase of women adicted to alcoholism in recent years, especially in IT hotbeds such as Bangalore and Chennai. "If women thinks to find equality and goes to drink, then most of us should run our families in liquor shops" my friend lamented.

     And comes the mockery created by the so called 'IT sector' in this regard, which is rather amusing. Mass employment of women in the service sector with attractive and equitable payment packages, which was a daydream few decades ago, is now a reality in urban areas to be specific. It seems that the MNCs now encourage feminism inside their campuses, corporates in the business processing and outsourcing (BPO) sectors are increasing prefering women while recruiting. This shows a good sign but at what cost? Corporates prefer women mainly because of the fact that they do not protest or agitate usually unlike men. When equitable salary is paid, they are pleased what ever injustices abound. There is a wide prevalence of harassment and violence against women at offices, which is often heared at a minimal or no voice.

     In 1997 Vishaka judgement, the Supreme court of India, for the first time, recognised sexual harassment at the workplace as a violation of human rights and outlined a set of guidelines for the prevention of and redressal of complaints. But very little is known about the extent to which sexual harassment persists, the kinds of action taken against such incidents and whether working women are even aware of such constitutional provisions. But the menace continues to be common occurance at workplace, typically perpetrated by persons of authority. A majority of women do not take action or lodge official complaints for fear of being dismissed, losing their reputation or facing hostility or social stigma. There are immoral and heartless people, especially in cities working in IT companies both men and women, who claim sexual harassment at workplace as "normal" and "harmless". I don't think we can't be that stupid and ridiculous, living in a nation which is itself portrayed as a women!

     It is said that the progress of a nation depends on the status of its women. Imagine, if the household work done by our mothers are calculated monetarily and to be added to the national income, the economic contribution of women in India may even overrun that of mens'. India is 'pro-feme' in its culture and heritage but the real status of women remains poor even today. There is an increasing level awareness and enlightenment on empowering women among us, but such transformations should not lose vigor and misguided. Our women must realise such things and be aware of what they are looking for. And the initiation to fight for injustices must be self-driven, because, I think no one can improve their life and status otherthan themselves!